Obsession

During the Halloween festivities of the past week I saw someone dressed as a pilot and remembered, HEY! I could wear my old flight attendant uniform next year! So I went home and went to the closet where I was sure I would find it. It wasn't there. I went to another closet, no sign of it.

We only have 3 closets, and I went through each of them twice. I searched my memory bank. I hadn't seen it in a long time. My husband of 14 years said he has never seen it. I decided I must have gotten rid of it in a fit of closet purging before we moved. But I was sure I would have kept my wings, so I went looking in every nook and cranny of my house.

I have pulled out and picked through every drawer, every box, every bag and satchel and found stuff I can't imagine ever needing again, but no wings.

I am gripped with nostalgia and longing for my Pan Am history, even though I haven't given it any thought for years. I'm going as a flight attendant next year if I have to create the costume from scratch.

So I went on ebay.

I know I'm late coming to this party but I've become completely obsessed. I have purchased two things from that site in the past but I did not bid for them, and this bidding thing is whole new drug.

When I got on the site on Tues, to distract me from the election fervor, I found a treasure trove of Pan Am memorabilia: posters, postcards, replica airplanes, ash trays, clocks, t-shirts, time tables, menus, advertisement reproductions.

I have so far bought 2 old ads and And replacement wings?

There was one set of the style of wings I wore - I was outbid. There are a couple of the metal ones that were given away to kids - I'm still in the running but have competition, so I'm "watching" those.Watching apparently means checking the website every 10 minutes even though the bidding doesn't end for another day.

I had to set up a separate "ebay" folder in my email inbox to track of my bids.

There are a couple of groovy scarves from the 70s - I'm also in the running for one of those.

My heart is racing, my breath is short and fast. I'm reviewing all the stuff on the watch list in my dreams. Which do I really want? How high am I willing to go? Or have I just gotten caught up in the fervor of competition? If this keeps up I'll have to check myself into treatment.

I've already bought 2 advertisement reproductions -- one with a beach scene of Impanima and the other and ad for in-flight movies -- and a blue Pan Am globe ornament.

The big ticket item? Original, mint condition wings from the 1960s. Yes, I bid on those, too. I'm out of control. My husband would freak, and I think I will too if I'm the winning bid, so I can't say how much.

I guess this is what political junkies do when they no longer have a campaign to occupy their attention.

UPDATE: I won the pin pictured above!! Next up: this scarf from the 70s uniform: